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The 4th Line Banger
Top Prospect
USA
38 Posts |
 Posted - 12/16/2010 : 22:14:32
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As I was walking through the tundra I stumbled upon a satchel half frozen to the grounds. I dug that satchel out and of the snow, carried that bag all the way home, and found all the NHL’s letters to Santa.
Here are the highlights.
Dear Santa,
Would you mind sending Dustin Byfuglien back north a litte bit??
Sincerely,
The Bowman’s (Scottie and Stan)
Dear Santa,
Can you please make sure Sidney Crosby gets a razor soon?? Not only is he making me look bad on the ice but he is one sexy beast with that ‘stache. I can’t concentrate on scoring goals when he is wearing that caterpillar on his lip.
Sincerely,
Alex Ovechkin
Dear Santa,
I want just a couple of things. A coach, a 5 year reduction of my goalie’s age, a few first round draft picks, and $100 million in cash. It’s not too much to ask.
Sincerely,
Lou Lamoriello
Dear Santa,
One more draft pick and a new downtown arena. Billionaires need wishes to come true as much as the next guy.
Sincerely,
Daryl Katz
Dear Santa,
The like me, they really like me. Thanks!! I knew last year’s wish of Jaroslav leaving would come true!!
Sincerely,
Carey Price
Dear Santa,
Just a nickel. A nickel for every guy who said we are too old, not good enough, and don’t have a good enough goalie. I’ll see you morons in June.
Sincerely,
Mike Babcock
Dear Santa,
A glimmer of hope. I worked by bag off to find some tool willing to lose money in Phoenix for the past 18 months and when I finally found him Atlanta is almost dead. Just another few years and I can retire. Let the next guy bring hockey back to Canada. Please?????
Sincerely,
Gary Bettman
Dear Santa,
E-mail reverse button. ‘nough said
Sincerely,
Colin Campbell
Dear Santa,
I once played in Florida. Then I was the Captain of the Canucks. Now I have nothing. Please find me an excuse for my upcoming playoff failure.
Sincerely,
Roberto Luongo
Dear Santa,
Could you invent hockey Viagra? I’m looking for some stamina. I promise I won’t call the doctor after 4 hours.
Sincerely,
Sidney Crosby
Dear Santa,
A better post-career agent. Battle of the Blades?? Seriously.
Sincerely,
Jeremy Roenick
Dear Santa,
A reputation. My money can do the rest.
Sincerely,
Jim Balsillie
Dear Santa,
A couple of new ankles and an open minded GM.
Sincerely,
Peter Forsberg
Dear Santa,
No lock out/strike in 2012 and NHLer’s in Sochi.
Sincerely,
Every NHL Fan.
Dear Santa,
One time and one time only, no top 10 draft pick.
Sincerely,
The Leaf’s Faithful
Dear Santa,
I will give back Gagne for a decent ‘keeper. Make the deal. I am Steve friggin Yzerman. Give me that Russian kid. Bobviski?? Roberovksi?? Whatever, you know who I mean.
Sincerely,
Steve Yzerman
Dear Santa,
Something, anything, a tiny bite of NHL other than really bad commercials.
Sincerely,
Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier
Dear Santa,
One swan song. The Rangers win the Cup and I will retire. Then Mess might stop calling me crying and take the job on Broadway. Man that guy cries a lot. I don't care what you promised "Gretz."
Sincerely,
Glen Sather
Dear Santa,
A brawl, a sex scandal, or a ponzi scheme arrest. I have not been in the news for almost a year. I need the spotlight.
Sincerely,
Patrick Roy
Dear Santa,
A Zdeno Chara slapshot to Pierre McGuire’s face. Right around the mouth. Not enough to hurt him too bad, but enough for a jaw being wired shut for about 8 months.
Sincerely,
Every TSN watcher
Dear Santa,
A playoff spot.
Sincerely,
Brian Burke and Ron Wilson
Dear Santa,
Something to wash off this 'guyliner.' Stupid Battle of the Blades.
Sincerely,
Theo Fluery
Dear Santa,
A Merry Christmas for all the member of Pick Up Hockey. Great Hockey, great discussions/debates, and a Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year for all.
Sincerely,
The 4th line Banger
PS –Feel free to add you own Dear Santa letter.
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Edited by - The 4th Line Banger on 12/16/2010 22:25:04
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Letters to Santa 
