| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Mikhailova
PickupHockey All-Star
USA
2918 Posts |
 Posted - 03/30/2007 : 15:27:44
|
Since I already posted my Photoshop pics, for this thread I'll just do some other random funny stuff.
First off: I tell bad jokes in this forum, want to hear some from real life?
1. Once during a chemistry lab, my lab partner took a test tube out of some hot water and said, "I need to put this test tube in a rack". And I say, "Well you better get going cuz it's a pretty long trip!"
2. Once someone asked me "Do you like buffalo wings?" And I answered, "I prefer Buffalo Sabres".
3. My sister and I were doing a quick inventory of our stuff once before leaving to get on the plane on vacation, and she would read off the item and I would say "Check". So for the first few I said "Check....check....check..." and then I decided to be funny and on the next and I said "Slovak"
4. I was on my way to class once but was a little late, so I started walking faster. My friend thought we'd still have time and didn't bother to pick up the pace. He called out to me, "Slow down! You're rushing". And I turned around and said "I am not, I'm American".
5. Last Thanksgiving my mom made pumpkin pie and chocolate pie for dessert. She asked me, "What kind of pie do you want?" And I said, "3.14159..."
Now, how 'bout some cross-border humor eh? (OK, cross-border for me...)
You Know You've Been in Canada Too Long When...
1. You end every sentence with "eh"
2. In the evenings you think, "Screw taking the trash out and running the dish washer--hockey is on!"
3. You think 3 feet of snow is a light shower
4. Your new critique is "That blows"
5. You forget what Target is
6. TSN or CBC becomes your preferred sports network
7. 0 degrees F is a nice day...0 degrees C is a really nice day
8. You HAVE to have the Jets back in Winnipeg
9. Lacrosse is your new favorite summer sport
10. Minnesota is "south of the border"
11. You develop a knowledge of French without taking a class
12. You refer to people you don't like as "meatballs"
13. Roots is your new favorite clothing brand
14. You abbreviate Toronto as TO
15. You start spelling stuff like "favorite" and "color" with a U in them
16. Molson Canadian is your new favorite beer
17. You build an ice rink in your backyard
18. You develop a liking for maple products...oh and while we're talking about food, Thanksgiving should be in October eh?
19. Your new favorite animal is the beaver
20. You start saying "Leafs" when you should say "leaves"
Whatdya think? Sound accurate? 
|
Edited by - Mikhailova on 03/30/2007 15:32:14
|
|
|
1 Crosby fan
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1454 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 15:33:29
|
THat is Awesome eh and my Favorite was all of them EH
Winners never Quit and Quitters never win
|
 |
|
|
Canucks Man
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1547 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 15:44:17
|
You Know You've Been in Canada Too Long When...
1. You end every sentence with "eh"
Yes I do, eh
2. In the evenings you think, "Screw taking the trash out and running the dish washer--hockey is on!"
Of Course
3. You think 3 feet of snow is a light shower
I actualy found this one offencive, your state probably had more snow this year then victoria has in 5 years
4. Your new critique is "That blows"
#3 did blow
5. You forget what Target is
Im not sure what you are refering to
6. TSN or CBC becomes your preferred sports network
Sportsnet all the way, Don Taylor is god
7. 0 degrees F is a nice day...0 degrees C is a really nice day
Actually thats pretty cold
8. You HAVE to have the Jets back in Winnipeg
Of course we do
9. Lacrosse is your new favorite summer sport
Lacrosse is My favourite all round sport
10. Minnesota is "south of the border"
Actually for me its level (Victoria is below the 49th parolel
11. You develop a knowledge of French without taking a class
French is mandatory untill grade 9 and I still didnt learn anything
12. You refer to people you don't like as "meatballs"
I have never called someone a Meatball
13. Roots is your new favorite clothing brand
Roots is allright
14. You abbreviate Toronto as TO
so??
15. You start spelling stuff like "favorite" and "color" with a U in them
again , so?
16. Molson Canadian is your new favorite beer
Its alright
17. You build an ice rink in your backyard
Victoria has never been cold enough to do that
18. You develop a liking for maple products
Wrong
19. Your new favorite animal is the beaver
Ive never seen a beaver
20. You start saying "Leafs" when you should say "leaves"
Only people in TO do that
CANUCKS RULE!!!
Get The Towels Out Guys PLAYOFFS!!! |
|
|
|
Mikhailova
PickupHockey All-Star
USA
2918 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 15:52:30
|
quote:
Originally posted by Canucks Man
3. You think 3 feet of snow is a light shower
I actualy found this one offencive, your state probably had more snow this year then victoria has in 5 years
5. You forget what Target is
Im not sure what you are refering to
10. Minnesota is "south of the border"
Actually for me its level (Victoria is below the 49th parolel
12. You refer to people you don't like as "meatballs"
I have never called someone a Meatball
14. You abbreviate Toronto as TO
so??
15. You start spelling stuff like "favorite" and "color" with a U in them
again , so?
16. Molson Canadian is your new favorite beer
Its alright
17. You build an ice rink in your backyard
Victoria has never been cold enough to do that
18. You develop a liking for maple products
Wrong
19. Your new favorite animal is the beaver
Ive never seen a beaver
#3, 10, 17: I'm speaking for most of Canada, not all
#5: My point exactly
#12: That one was for Beans
#14, 15: There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying...
#16: I hope you don't know from experience...
#18: OK, well I have Canadian friends who like 'em, there's even a store called "Maple Delights" in Vancouver I think
#19: It's on all the Roots tags...and beaver-hunting used to be popular in like the 1800s or something |
Edited by - Mikhailova on 03/30/2007 15:53:12 |
|
|
|
leigh
Moderator
Canada
1755 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 15:54:54
|
Hey Mik. Congrats on the post!!!! I see we only get your best humour here at pickuphockey! Thanks for (almost) sparing us from those other jokes! haha!
I wish I could build a rink in my back yard (Vancouver) but I did when I was a kid! And I hope to again some day!
It's been great talking this year. Looking forward to another 1500 posts! |
|
|
|
1 Crosby fan
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1454 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 15:59:37
|
well this sucks we tried to make a rink yesterday and i fell and borke my leg man and anyway,,, congrats on 1500 almost at 1000
Winners never Quit and Quitters never win
|
|
|
|
Canucks Man
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1547 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:05:43
|
quote:
Originally posted by Mikhailova
quote:
Originally posted by Canucks Man
3. You think 3 feet of snow is a light shower
I actualy found this one offencive, your state probably had more snow this year then victoria has in 5 years
5. You forget what Target is
Im not sure what you are refering to
10. Minnesota is "south of the border"
Actually for me its level (Victoria is below the 49th parolel
12. You refer to people you don't like as "meatballs"
I have never called someone a Meatball
14. You abbreviate Toronto as TO
so??
15. You start spelling stuff like "favorite" and "color" with a U in them
again , so?
16. Molson Canadian is your new favorite beer
Its alright
17. You build an ice rink in your backyard
Victoria has never been cold enough to do that
18. You develop a liking for maple products
Wrong
19. Your new favorite animal is the beaver
Ive never seen a beaver
#3, 10, 17: I'm speaking for most of Canada, not all
#5: My point exactly
#12: That one was for Beans
#14, 15: There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying...
#16: I hope you don't know from experience...
#18: OK, well I have Canadian friends who like 'em, there's even a store called "Maple Delights" in Vancouver I think
#19: It's on all the Roots tags...and beaver-hunting used to be popular in like the 1800s or something
I doubt people across canada would consider three feet of snow a light shower, and that most of them have outdoor rinks, oh and i do no from experience
CANUCKS RULE!!!
Get The Towels Out Guys PLAYOFFS!!! |
|
|
|
semin-rules
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1915 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:30:02
|
You Know You've Been in Canada Too Long When...
1. You end every sentence with "eh"
Yup
2. In the evenings you think, "Screw taking the trash out and running the dish washer--hockey is on!"
Of Course
3. You think 3 feet of snow is a light shower
Hahaha unfortunatley it's true
4. Your new critique is "That blows"
Sure
5. You forget what Target is
Haha yeah, iv'e only been there once, not that great.
6. TSN or CBC becomes your preferred sports network
Of course
7. 0 degrees F is a nice day...0 degrees C is a really nice day
I wouldn't say nice, but its good
8. You HAVE to have the Jets back in Winnipeg
Jet's not in Winnipeg is moon without sun
9. Lacrosse is your new favorite summer sport
I have played lacrosse for 6 years
10. Minnesota is "south of the border"
Yup.
11. You develop a knowledge of French without taking a class
French is mandatory untill grade 9 and I still didnt learn anything
12. You refer to people you don't like as "meatballs"
?????
13. Roots is your new favorite clothing brand
When I was younger....
14. You abbreviate Toronto as TO
Doesn't everyone?
15. You start spelling stuff like "favorite" and "color" with a U in them
Because we are different!!
16. Molson Canadian is your new favorite beer
Can't have it yet
17. You build an ice rink in your backyard
Every year
18. You develop a liking for maple products
Not really
19. Your new favorite animal is the beaver
Nope
20. You start saying "Leafs" when you should say "leaves"
Are you talking about when we are talking about the team? then Yes
Did you make those up??
Pretty good
Congrats on almost 1000 1CF
~~~~~GO STARS~~~~~ |
|
|
|
Saku Steen
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1102 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:31:46
|
Wow, I cant believe I read all that!
Congrats on the big 1500! I hope I will make it to that some time! |
|
|
|
leigh
Moderator
Canada
1755 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:32:16
|
quote:
Originally posted by 1 Crosby fan
well this sucks we tried to make a rink yesterday and i fell and borke my leg man and anyway,,, congrats on 1500 almost at 1000
Are you serious 1CF? |
|
|
|
1 Crosby fan
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1454 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:39:53
|
well yea it is slippery out side
Winners never Quit and Quitters never win
|
|
|
|
bablaboushka
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
2417 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:48:20
|
Man 1500 already, I gotta pick up the pace here. You're Russian too much.
Gotta love that recycled humour. It's good for the hockey environment.
I am on a roll... Mind you cinnamon tastes better in my mouth.
Ok now I'm just trying to steal your thunder, enough. |
Edited by - bablaboushka on 03/30/2007 16:49:57 |
|
|
|
Mikhailova
PickupHockey All-Star
USA
2918 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:49:42
|
Lol babs, nice one
Yes Semin, I made those up. (BTW, the meatball one was for Beans, I agree--Target sucks, and about everyone using the abbreviation TO, I'd never seen that till I joined here) |
Edited by - Mikhailova on 03/30/2007 17:08:28 |
|
|
|
Saku Steen
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1102 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 16:50:57
|
| Babs you do, Mik averages 7.26 posts a day, while you average 3.91 posts a day. |
|
|
|
Mikhailova
PickupHockey All-Star
USA
2918 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 18:38:28
|
| Since several here don't seem to like maple candy, let's change #18 to "You develop a liking for Tim Horton's". |
|
|
|
leafsfan1
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
338 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 19:11:02
|
| congrats mik im only about 1475 behind you |
Edited by - leafsfan1 on 03/30/2007 19:11:46 |
|
|
|
leafsfan_101
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1530 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 19:17:17
|
Congrats Mik on 1500. Lets see how Canadian I am.
You Know You've Been in Canada Too Long When...
1. You end every sentence with "eh"
Mostly eh
2. In the evenings you think, "Screw taking the trash out and running the dish washer--hockey is on!"
Obviously, that a no-brainer
3. You think 3 feet of snow is a light shower
No. Its not that light.
4. Your new critique is "That blows"
Nope, not reffering to me.
5. You forget what Target is
Its a store, right??
6. TSN or CBC becomes your preferred sports network
TSN all the way. CBC only on Saturday Nights.
7. 0 degrees F is a nice day...0 degrees C is a really nice day
Not really, you still need a jacket.
8. You HAVE to have the Jets back in Winnipeg
Ya, and while were at it lets get Quebec back too.
9. Lacrosse is your new favorite summer sport
Fun to play in summer, but not my favourite.
10. Minnesota is "south of the border"
Isn't it??
11. You develop a knowledge of French without taking a class
I take it in school and still can't say"I didn't do my homework".
12. You refer to people you don't like as "meatballs"
I actually have said that lol 
13. Roots is your new favorite clothing brand
Here is the answer that seperates me. American Eagle all the way.
14. You abbreviate Toronto as TO
Yep.
15. You start spelling stuff like "favorite" and "color" with a U in them
All the time.
16. Molson Canadian is your new favorite beer
I can answer this when I am of legal drinking age.
17. You build an ice rink in your backyard
Nope, but I always go to ponds.
18. You develop a liking for maple products
Only Maple Syrup
19. Your new favorite animal is the beaver
Nope
20. You start saying "Leafs" when you should say "leaves"
Yep, its a habit.
Long Live Leafs Nation!! |
|
|
|
Mikhailova
PickupHockey All-Star
USA
2918 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 19:47:08
|
| Yeah, Target's a department store. About Minnesota being "south of the border", I meant it this way: Here in the US there's this Mexican culture amusement park/festival thing held in the southern states called "South of the Border", since Mexico is further south and much hotter. I was saying Minnesota is Canada's "South of the Border"; I was joking that although Minnesota is frigid cold, it's warm compared to Canada. |
Edited by - Mikhailova on 03/30/2007 20:07:35 |
|
|
|
bablaboushka
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
2417 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 20:18:09
|
I'll translate Target to Canadian:
Zellers. |
|
|
|
1 Crosby fan
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1454 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 20:41:39
|
quote:
Originally posted by bablaboushka
I'll translate Target to Canadian:
Zellers.
I knew it was somthing like that
Winners never Quit and Quitters never win
|
|
|
|
semin-rules
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1915 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 21:33:02
|
Is there Wal-Mart in America? if there isn't then Target is morre like that.
~~~~~GO STARS, LETS BRING IT HOME~~~~~ |
|
|
|
Saku Steen
PickupHockey Veteran
Canada
1102 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2007 : 04:06:56
|
quote:
Originally posted by semin-rules
Is there Wal-Mart in America? if there isn't then Target is morre like that.
~~~~~GO STARS, LETS BRING IT HOME~~~~~
Target and Zellers in the same thing, even the colours are the same. They just have different names. |
|
|
|
Mikhailova
PickupHockey All-Star
USA
2918 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2007 : 06:40:50
|
| Yes Semin, there are Wal-Marts in America. Along with Targets. |
|
|
|
Mikhailova
PickupHockey All-Star
USA
2918 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2007 : 06:43:24
|
| Oh yeah, I just remembered this (it's another bad joke ). In chemistry there are these constants for different things, among them are Ka, Kb, Kw, and Ksp. I said to the kid sitting next to me, "I think there should be a Kfc". Hahaha |
Edited by - Mikhailova on 03/31/2007 06:43:47 |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
Hey now, you're an All-Star... 
