| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Alex
PickupHockey All-Star
Canada
2816 Posts |
 Posted - 05/13/2008 : 14:30:44
|
It's a little early to celebrate post 2500 for me but an idea popped to mind and I just can't risk forgetting it.
You've probably all heard of David Letterman's Top 10. There are entire websites and books dedicated to archiving the top 10 he presents on his late show. Well, this is PickUpHockey's answer to David Letterman.
Every week or so, I will throw out a topic and you can give me your top 10. At the end of the week (or after we get at least ten lists) we will tally the scores, but it's just more for fun than anything.
Here we go boys and girls! Kicking us off, I am going to start us off with a good one that should get lots of replies.
Top 10 of the 2008 Post Season
1) Making the squid illegal in Joe Louis (and doing it anyways!)
2) Sean Avery on Brodeur
3) Flop of the Sens
4) Martin Biron one hit wonder
5) Sidney Crosby's attempt at a playoff beard
6) Goodbye Jagr, Sakic, Forsberg, Shanahan...?
7) Guy Carbonneau's tie
8) Bud Light / Molson Canadian commercials
9) Playing the national Anthem on the harmonica
10) Early exits = above average IIHF tourny for Canada
P.S. Better to reply than not. If you don't have ten, make your list a little short and vote for the top 5 or whatever floats your boat.
|
Edited by - Alex on 05/20/2008 17:02:24
|
|
|
FranzenFanatic
Top Prospect
23 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 15:25:28
|
1 Wings win their 11th cup!
2 Franzen breaks a bunch of Howe's records
3 Wings 9-0 after Hasek, about to finish two sweeps
4 Datsyuk / Zetterberg lead NHL in points in the playoffs
5 Zetterberg goal on Colorado
6 Kronwall hit
7 Osgood but ends Ribeiro
8 Joe Louis still proud to be home of HockeyTown even if some dumb rule tries to make us lose our tradition
9 Lidstrom centre ice goal
10 Don Cherry lashes out at the people who sent in a picture of a donkey for the mule on HNIC
|
 |
|
|
Keith
Top Prospect
21 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 15:38:41
|
1 No cup in Canada for at least one more year
2 Changing a rule in the middle of the playoffs
3 Malkin overshadowing Crosby
4 So many spoiled sweeps
5 Pens revenge on Sens
6 Queneville, Wilson are fired
7 Ron McLaen actually gets attention some times
8 Boston nearly upsets Montreal
9 Ovechkin oh so close to playing Crosby
10 Deadline deals don't help Avs and Selanne and Nieds come back only to get crushed |
Edited by - Keith on 05/13/2008 15:38:57 |
|
|
|
Beans15
Moderator
Canada
8286 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 15:55:44
|
10) Nice and quick. I get to golf more
9) Roberto who?? Martin Who?? 4 Teams in the conference finals that prove you do not need an elite goalie to win.
8) More than one station showing hockey on a Saturday Night
7) Johan Franzen
6) Sid gets his points, Malkin gets the glory.
5)Broduer not shaking hands at the end of the series. Cry Baby.
4)Sean Avery making me laugh so hard that milk came out of my nose
3)The NHL changing a rule based on a player. Dumb
2)Riots in Montreal after winning a series?? What would have happened if they won the Cup??
1)Where's the Octopus. Stupid NHL.
|
|
|
|
BradTheBadDad
Top Prospect
73 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 16:32:39
|
10) Sports Illustrated has more than one article about the NHL
9) Somehow the Leafs manage to make headlines every day despite being out of the playoffs before the year even started
8) Celebrity blogging on NHL
7) Whaddya know? The NHL is worth watching even without Alex Ovechkin!
6) The way websites of teams hopelessly out of the series manage to shift the focus to something else
5) All the members who suddenly flood the forums (mea culpa, mea culpa)
4) Johan Franzen winning me my hockey pool? Say it ain't so!
3) The Pistons take a backseat to the Wings
2) Maggie the Monkey not so strong this year
1) Mike Millbury calling AO a dog
''Eat. Sleep. Hockey'' |
|
|
|
Ethan
Top Prospect
15 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 18:18:17
|
10) Exceptionally good matches (Sens vs. Pens, Bruins vs. Habs, Philly vs. Pens, Minny vs. Col, Ana vs. Dal, SJ vs. Dal, Col vs. Det...)
9) Hardly any upsets
8) Short and sweet games and rounds
7) Lots of penalty shots
6) Good storylines for the most part
5) Watching the stars of tomorrow shine and the ones of yesterday fall into the limelight a little bit
4) Offense-first games (more goals/game in post season that regular season)
3) Kipper Kid
2) Ovechkin's first playoff goal was a beauty
1) Cabbie on the street - especially his one on one with the Wings! |
|
|
|
Gostarsgo12
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
437 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 18:22:20
|
1. The Penguins amazing record
2. Dallas and Philadelphias unexpected playoff pushes
3. Umberger and Franzen goal scoring rampages
4. Big hits by Kronwall and Sarich
5. Sean Avery being Sean Avery
6. Zetterberg's amazing goal
7. Bob Mckenzie telling Milbury that he's the man who should be behind bench for Toronto.
8. Zetterberg and Datsyuk
9. Seeing a hockey game on everynight
10. Evgeni Nabokovs beauty save.
Stars for the Cup! |
|
|
|
Canada-Eh
Top Prospect
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 18:38:16
|
10 Don Cherry joins ESPN
9 Fans watching games outside the arena
8 Cup automatically going to a repeat champ
7 Morrow / Sarich / Kronwall hit
6 Sharks lose yet again
5 Ottawa Citizen calls on players to injure Malkin and Crosby
4 John Stevens showing his team an article saying that they will be sweeped
3 Pens T-shirts 'Sacrifice' in 5 languages
2 Wings 9-0
1 Streit / Kessel / Zetterberg goal |
|
|
|
MardiGras
Top Prospect
20 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 05:32:27
|
10 Ottawa spartican
9 Watching games at Boston Pizza
8 Picking all the favourites to win and cleaning up big time
7 Detroit ending its 5 year 'rut'?
6 Holland v. Holland, Staal v. Staal v. Staal...
5 Rangers salute
4 Canadiens riots / firefighters
3 Derrian Hatcher giving it his all and taking puffers on the bench
2 One more year with no cup for Alfie, Sundin and Koivu 
1 Kipper, Theodore -- buh bye! R.I.P. Wild 
|
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4809 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 08:19:08
|
I like it, Alex. 
10. Last year's champs Anaheim out in 4. Quack quack splat!
9. Ovechkin grows a full beard after only one round; Jeff Taffe denied spare hair after asking for skin grafts.
8. Brodeur put into trance to enable excellent playoff performance; Avery hears of scheme, and waves hand in face to break it. Rangers win!
7. Franzen, named after a country in Europe, goes on scoring binge - but after celebrating Howe's broken record, has three day hangover.
6. Montreal has a riot after a one round win - breaks Leafs record for earliest celebration of no Cup!
5. Player's Union decides to have an early golf tournament sponsored by Maxim Magazine - Pens and Wings respond by sweeping opponents to shorten schedule and make it to tee time.
4. Octopi placed on the endangered animals list; insensitive clods from Detroit ignore wildlife concerns.
3. Plan to stimulate US economy in Steel Town and Motor City - we are GO!
2. Ribeiro notices fly on Osgoodes sweater and attempts to swat it with his stick . . . the good samaritan is misunderstood again!
1. Three words: Canada's Capital Disappointment
"Take off, eh?" - Bob and Doug |
|
|
|
Beans15
Moderator
Canada
8286 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 10:49:18
|
quote:
Originally posted by slozo
I like it, Alex.
10. Last year's champs Anaheim out in 4. Quack quack splat!
9. Ovechkin grows a full beard after only one round; Jeff Taffe denied spare hair after asking for skin grafts.
8. Brodeur put into trance to enable excellent playoff performance; Avery hears of scheme, and waves hand in face to break it. Rangers win!
7. Franzen, named after a country in Europe, goes on scoring binge - but after celebrating Howe's broken record, has three day hangover.
6. Montreal has a riot after a one round win - breaks Leafs record for earliest celebration of no Cup!
5. Player's Union decides to have an early golf tournament sponsored by Maxim Magazine - Pens and Wings respond by sweeping opponents to shorten schedule and make it to tee time.
4. Octopi placed on the endangered animals list; insensitive clods from Detroit ignore wildlife concerns.
3. Plan to stimulate US economy in Steel Town and Motor City - we are GO!
2. Ribeiro notices fly on Osgoodes sweater and attempts to swat it with his stick . . . the good samaritan is misunderstood again!
1. Three words: Canada's Capital Disappointment
"Take off, eh?" - Bob and Doug
Now that is a top ten list. Had my laughing all the way through.
Very nicely done! |
|
|
|
Leafs Rock Planet
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
902 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 14:50:53
|
A big avatar change for Alex. I hardly recognized you. 
10. Malkin shining brighter than Crosby.
9. Ottawa...Ha what a joke!!
8. Briere, Prospal, Hartnell...Best line in 08 playoffs?
7. Habs will have to wait for #25.(hehe Alex)
6. Hasek bumped from starting role in the Motor City.
5. Another early exit for San Jose.
4. Brenden Morrow the complete player!!
3. Henrik Zetterberg Goal. No Fluke.
2. Pittsburgh, To young? They proved people wrong.
1. #7 seed Philladelphia. Great Run. Definetely a team to look out for.
____________________
"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."
- Vince Lombardi
|
Edited by - Leafs Rock Planet on 05/14/2008 14:52:11 |
|
|
|
Leafs_Fan_67
Top Prospect
14 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 04:50:30
|
10 Avery calls Marty a fatso
9 Big savings on NHL.com -- WHOO!
8 Fighting in the playoffs? Wow!
7 Officiating might just be the worst ever (goalie interference round 1 WAS / PHI, again last night... Crosby 'no goal' that obviously crossed the line... stupid 'make up calls'...)
6 No saggy veteran of a captain will life the puck this year. Then again, Chelly or Roberts might be second in line... 
5 Staals, Kostitsyns, Hollands: lots of good storylines this year
4 The Battle os Pensylvania and Colorado - Detroit series are both a one sided thumping
3 Hardly any injuries!
2 Osgood: 9-1
1 Out-of-nowhere goalie studs have edge over guys like Marty, Luongo
Yo I think it's time for a new topic eh, I had to rack my brain to be able to find choices not already mentioned! |
|
|
|
Vokoun
Top Prospect
5 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 05:09:04
|
10. Capitals out in first round. As a fan from a SE rival team, that let's me sleep a little easier at night!
9. Gary Bettman must be crying. No new team will win it this year.
8. Colin Campbell is so caught up becoming GM of the Leafs that he has done squat about the crappy refs, amongst other things he just completely missed *cough cough* RIBEIRO SLASH
7. Dog Eat Dog: Stars get the playoff monkey off their back at the hands of Thornton; Osgood gets the monkey off his back at the hands of Turco; which will it be in the next round, Osgood or Fleury? Everyone has something to prove this year and it makes it more fun!
6. Stanley Cup is getting some travelling done before being given off - cast and crew of the ER had their turn with it!
5. Fun to watch all the teams choking cause they never had the balls to go and pick up Jokenin that could have been the difference. Serves 'em right for not helping the Panthers!
4. The generation after Roy: Biron, Fleury Giguere, Theodore, Brodeur all French Canadian goalies in the playoffs
3. Crosby to hold the cup!
2. Sean Avery on Brodeur!
1. Senators, you suck!
|
Edited by - Vokoun on 05/15/2008 05:15:44 |
|
|
|
Alex
PickupHockey All-Star
Canada
2816 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 07:09:03
|
OK, so I'm breaking the rules I set but heck, rules are made to be broken. And anyways, I think we've covered almost everything in this year's post-season worth mentioning. So I'm going to jump the gun a little and move this bad boy forward!
Here's a new top 10 until the teams playing in the finals are determined, which may be this weekend if we're lucky! Lovin' the turnout for the first one, keep it up boys!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 10 ‘Would have, could have, should have’ of 2008
10) What ever happened to the Kansas City Predators?
9) Winter Classic taking the spotlight from NCAA? I think not. Nice try though, Gary.
8) The monkey stays on the Sharks’ back for one more year (my, that came out wrong didn’t it!)
7) Breakaway challenge at NHL all star game a flop
6) Washington Capitals save heroics for the eleventh hour, make postseason on the last day of the season. But alas, there won’t be no Cinderella story this time around.
5) Sidney Crosby: the reigning MVP that wasn’t
4) Ottawa Senators (a.k.a. Ray Emery)
3) Anyone wanna rent a captain? Nope, guess Sundin will stick around Hog Town for another year.
2) Carey Price
1) Leafs promise a playoff spot before the season even starts. Hey Maurice, isn’t a guarantee supposed to be, y’know… guaranteed?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. This is a shout out to LRP: don't worry bud, I also have to do a double take at my new avatar! It's just to tide me over till the admin uploads my request 
|
Edited by - Alex on 05/15/2008 07:35:39 |
|
|
|
Komisaurus
Top Prospect
Canada
57 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 07:17:48
|
Here's something I wrote once ottawa got swept...
Top 10 Excuses For Ottawa's Demise
Number #10 - "It's really too nice out to be indoors..."
Number #9 - "We felt we needed to come together as a team...What better way than to head down South for vacation..."
Number #8 - "Anne Murray is playing in Montreal on April 20th...We all agreed we would not miss her for the second year in a row..."
Number #7 - "We heard the Toronto Maple Leafs beat our teams previous golf score and we, as a whole, decided we weren't going to sit back and take it!"
Number #6 - "We felt we needed to be consistent with our past playoff performances..."
Number #5 - "Gerber ASSURED us he's done this before..."
Number #4 - "It's truly hard to take our Coach seriously after watching Sylvester the cat on an episode of Looney Tunes."
Number #3 - "We all pitched in $5000 in a playoff pool to see what team would win the Stanley Cup...Nobody picked us..."
Number #2 - "We were unable to keep up with the vigorous physical demand that is required during the playoffs...We bruise easy..."
And Finally...
Number #1 - "Due to the technical difficulties that occured during our gladiator's speech, we were unable to catch the most inspirational parts and thus unable to be inspired..."
|
|
|
|
Vokoun
Top Prospect
5 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 08:00:03
|
10 Tampa Bay finding a goalie
9 Leafs late season pushes for the playoffs
8 Carolina out of the playoffs on the last day
7 Panthers push for the post season
6 Avalanche trying to recreate lost magic in Forsberg, Sakic, Foote..
5 Jokinen out of Florida on deadline day
4 Sharks a playoff dud
3 Washington Capitals, so close yet so far
2 Ducks repeat with Nieds and Selanne
1 Ottawa Senators: finals one year, swept the next!
|
|
|
|
BradTheBadDad
Top Prospect
73 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 09:43:27
|
10 Todd Bertuzzi a force? More like a farce.
9 Iginla: 100 points eludes him again; once again, first in my hockey pool eludes me!
8 Oilers making the playoffs in a rebuild year
7 Buffalo Sabres without co-captains Drury + Briere
6 Jagr / Drury duo not exactly as productive as planned
5 Brad Richards the missing ingredient in Dallas. Did he even get more than 5 points following his debut in Dallas?
4 84 game schedule
3 Martin Brodeur backstopping NJ to a cup
2 Flyers’ vengeance ends tonight
1 Whichever one of Pittsbrugh / Detroit doesn’t win
|
|
|
|
SuperSakic
Rookie
Canada
192 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 10:28:20
|
Here's my top 10 reasons that Pittsburgh is winning so much...
10. The Hoss is playing
9. The team promised Fleury a lifetime subscription to O (Oprah's mag) if he won them games - you can tell he's really trying hard!
8. The Habs aren't playing them
7. Malkin wants to be better than Yashin
6. Gonchar wants to be better than Yashin too
5. Jordan wants a shiny ring like his older brother
4. Ottawa's gladiator made Gerber feel too much shame. The poor guy just couldn't get it together after that.
3. Mario called in a "solid" and asked Jagr not to try so much against his team
2. Malkin has a fear of cups, so instead, was told that he would get to win the "Stanley Hat" and be allowed to take pictures, with his friends, while wearing it on his head.
And number one...
1. Crosby is scaring the living daylights out of everyone with those whiskers of his. His opponents seem to think that it's something contagious! |
Edited by - SuperSakic on 05/15/2008 10:30:02 |
|
|
|
Leafs_Fan_67
Top Prospect
14 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 10:37:36
|
Leafs Fan 67's Top 10 Would Have Could Have Should Have... of 2008
10 Carlo Colaicovo. He would have had his breakout year had he not broken whatever it is that kept him sidelined this time.
9 Neither here nor there. Toronto blows their postseason spot AND their chances at a good draft pick!
8 Vesa Toskala a flop
7 Brunstrom so close to becoming a Leaf I could almost taste it!
6 Colin Campbell / Brian Burke / Wayne Gretzky on the Leafs
5 Sundin Trade
4 Jason Blake franchise winger? He took the shots, problem is getting the goals god damnit!
3 Sundin at the All Star Game
2 Cliff Fletcher being the hero on deadline day. He trade Belak, whopdeedoo. 
1 Leafs in the playoffs. (Hey, it could have happened! Maurice believed in the team! Had Sundin not gotten injured, who knows?) |
|
|
|
Canada-Eh
Top Prospect
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 12:39:50
|
My TOP 10 Could Have Would Have Should Have
10 Team USA (IIHF)
9 Ron Wilson guarantee: ‘I think my record speaks for itself…’
8 Officiating breakthroughs never materialize: second goal line, review for goaltender interference…
7 Lundqvist will miss the Vezina for a second year
6 Jaromir Jagr. Didn’t get his points or his Conn Smythe and now may not even get his contract!
5 Evgeni Malkin: Hart Trophy won't happen even though he deserves it
4 Briere almost becomes a Hab. Instead he accepts less money and ends up burning the Canadiens
3 Roberto Luongo can't get it together
2 Washington Capitals fall short
1 Ottawa Senators... what the hell happened?? |
|
|
|
FranzenFanatic
Top Prospect
23 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2008 : 11:39:47
|
Top 10 Could Have Would Have Should Have 2K8
10) Lidstrom = Norris. Datsyuk = Selke. Hasek/Osgood = Jennings. Had Zetterberg not been injured, he could have had the Art Ross too
9) Wings blow their 2nd straight sweep by giving Stars life
8) Rafalski misses All-Star game due to stupid new rule
7) Osgood blows his chance to go 10-0 in the only game where he has a bit of a challenge. Maybe the critics were right about him??
6) Franzen misses his chance to break even more records by getting a concussion
5) Fabian Brustrom, how dare you go to Dallas? Don't you know that all the Swedes migrate to Motown?? Holland was so close!
4) Team Sweden, who should generally be a powerhouse, are going to lose the IIHF semis because Detroit is still in the hunt for the cup!
3) Wings fans stop showing up? Ouch. This is the best team in the NHL, the team that should have the highest attendance!
2) The Dominator (the one intended to win the cup for Detroit) takes a back seat to Osgood
1) Detroit Red Wings miss good chance to break record for wins in a season due to key injuries to Zetterberg, Lidstrom, Rafalski and Kronwall |
|
|
|
MardiGras
Top Prospect
20 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2008 : 05:43:25
|
(the first couple might not be so big to all of you but they have personal value to me for dif. reasons)
10 Miikka Kipprusoff could have won the series for the Flames… had he been in net!
9 Carolina looking great and playing well but lose Brindamour and ends up missing the playoffs
8 All the talk about a 'future Norris stud' - I have news for you Dion, not so long as Lidstrom is playing!
7 Boston upset on Montreal so, so close!
6 Penguins could have gone 8-0 to start playoffs but messed it up
5 Swedes IIHF
(and then there's the obvious ones of course)
4 Montreal Canadiens
3 Sidney Crosby
2 Washington Capitals
1 Ottawa Senators
Lot's of could have would have should have this year if you think about it. The All-Star game pretty much summed up the rest of the year. A let down with a lot of excitement where everything expected to happen didn't. |
|
|
|
Alex
PickupHockey All-Star
Canada
2816 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2008 : 11:24:35
|
This may just be the best one we will ever have! Beans, have a field day with this bad boy! IHC and MarkhamMax, I look forward to reading your lists as well! And slozo my man, blow us away with another hilarious edition of the David Letterman Top 10! Possibly the greatest post to ever come from me, so enjoy it!
Top 10 Ways to Improve our Game: Dedicated to the Notorious American Crusader also known as Gary Betman
10) Coaches can call timeouts whenever they please. As long as it doesn’t interfere with the seventh inning stretch.
9) Frankly, face-offs are starting to get on my nerves. Let’s just flip a darned coin and get the show on the road.
8) Open the roof of arenas during nice days. Let little kids stand outside the arena to gather pucks that are hit out of the park
7) Ever hear of football card collectors? Or better yet, basketball card collectors? Why the hell should the NHL stand out? Anyone seen collecting hockey cards from now on will be tarred and feathered. (Not necessarily in that order)
6) Half time shows during the cup playoffs featuring previous American Idol winners
5) Fine! Go to your stinking Olympics for all I care – but I’m holding back the Canadians!
4) The next Heritage Classic: a good ol’ game between the Nashville Predators and Atlanta Thrashers. Let’s play on the fourth of July and launch fireworks. Maybe we can lure some MLB fans to our great game of hockey, what do you say?
3) Let’s hear it for the Vegas Canadiens and the Milwaukee Maple Leafs! And my personal favourite, the Oakland Canucks! Three cheers for expansion!
2) Single-knockout playoffs! While we’re at it, let’s give a bye to whomever the heck we feel like giving it to – so long as the team is from the Southern U.S. Oh, and about that stinking overtime? From now on, Simon Cowell will vote on the winner; when he gets bored, we’ll call it a game.
1) Divisions are way too confusing. From now on we will have an AL, a CL and a QL: American League, Canadian League, and Quebec League! |
Edited by - Alex on 05/18/2008 11:43:52 |
|
|
|
BradTheBadDad
Top Prospect
73 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2008 : 11:52:36
|
Hahaha I love this! 
Here are the absolute top 10 best ways to improve the NHL!
10 Put all the healthy scratches in a bullpen and let them enjoy chewing gum with each other.
9 It really doesn’t matter who wins as long as we make more money from the gambling than from the attendance, right?
8 Let’s knock off 70 games from the schedule. I’m thinking 12 games is good enough, with a weeklong break in between games to discuss every detail of every player on every team.
7 Team Captains can challenge any call. Except Crosby. He’s a Canadian cry baby.
6 Hats are not to be thrown during the hat-trick. They are to be kept, so that you can put them on your chest at the end of the game during the Pledge of Allegiance.
5 Personal fouls, technical fouls and ethnic fouls! From now on, the word ‘eh’ is an obscenity and anyone who says it will get ejected from the game.
4 Gary Betman, spend three quarters of your day hustling with major US corporations to see which one will pay you the most for a commercial slot on Stanley Cup Sunday.
3 With the remaining quarter of your day, make public appearances and do book signings.
2 Make up some steroids policy just because you have to. Then pretend not to notice when some guy breaks Gretzky’s records. Instead, sue him in a Federal Court. (That was a knock at Bud Selig and Barry Bonds for those who did not get it)
1 Bonus points will be awarded every game to the player with the best ‘touchdown dance’. Hear that? That’s Sean Avery’s value sky rocketing. |
|
|
|
Datsyuk 1
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
333 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 00:18:09
|
| What a cool topic, lol. I will post mine in the morning too tired and lazy to at the moment. :D |
|
|
|
Keith
Top Prospect
21 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 07:49:24
|
HAHAHA! I hope Gary Betman actually reads this!
10 NHL custodial staff get it way too easy. From now on we’re going to throw peanuts in the bleachers just to make it feel more American.
9 We need bigger nets and bigger pads – to accommodate the bigger (fatter) American goalies taking over the number one spot on every team!
8 When’s the last time NHL cheerleaders got any attention? From now on, people will be paying for the main event – Paris Hilton in a two piece.
7 American National Anthem comes second. We’ll rush through that dreary Canadian one, than we can get to the good one.
6 The next 50 million dollar NHL endorsement? Campbell’s Chunky: The official soup of Anson Carter, George Laraque, Donald Brashear, Jarome Iginla and Jamal Mayers. I can see the ads now…
5 The NHL’s next great hockey player: Raul Garcia.
4 The one after that? Jishiro Matsuzika
3 Screw Harper. Cameramen will be trained to film George Bush and all look alikes in attendance.
2 Fifteen going on 50: Canadian fans may have to wait a little bit for their next Stanley Cup…
1 HockeyTown? Detriot. HockeyState? Pennsylvania. HockeyRegion? Southern USA. HockeyCountry? USA!
|
|
|
|
Beans15
Moderator
Canada
8286 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 15:22:38
|
10) Smaller Goalie Pads. Use them as intended, to protect the goalie, not to stop shots and cover the entire bottom of the net.
9)Go back to the old jerseys. The new one's look like PJ's.
8)Remove the instigator rule
7)Don't increase the salary cap with revenue. Keep the cap the same and lower ticket prices by the yearly revenue increase.
6)No more 3 points games. 2 points for a win, 1 each if the game goes to a shoot out. Use the shoot out to dictate standings if two teams have the same points and same amount of wins.
5) Take away the penalty for delay of game for shoot the puck over the boards and make it the same as an icing call. Offending team can not change lines and the face off is in the offending teams zone.
4) Have the All Star game outside. Rideau Canal in Ottawa, the Colorado Rockies, or the Canadian Rockies. Have the winning side at the All Star Game dictate home ice advantage for the Stanley Cup Finals
3) Drop two teams in the league making a total of 28. Shorten the season to 80 games (no divisions, just two conferences, play against the sae conference 4 times each and the other conference twice)
2)Make NHL discipline about the act and the intent, not the player and the outcome.
1) Make Helmets optional, make cooperall's mandatory, and make players all weared horned rimmed safety glasses a la the Hanson Brothers.
|
|
|
|
pokermatt12
Top Prospect
Canada
65 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 19:05:21
|
10. Change the present net size to the size of a soccer net, that should put up the scoring, Gary.
9. Only wooden sticks, the new ones keep breaking and are costing the NHL valuable revenue.
8. For icing, change the position to where you can dump the puck from the center line to your own blue line, and make it no touch icing to prevent injuries (Thanks Gretz)
7. Make a rule that Crosby can't grow a beard
6. Take away the crease, what is that even used for anyways?
5. Let the puck stay in play if it hits the netting, it might give us some pretty creative goals
4. Take away the dreaded kicking motion rule, nobody knows exactly what is a goal anymore
3. Make distinct suspensions, and no more double standard
2. Cap Chelios to only let him play until he's got great-grandchildren
1. Make a damn trophy for most assists already!
He who controls the present controls the past; he who controls the past controls the future. |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4809 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 05:24:24
|
Top 10 Ways to "Improve" our Game: Dedicated to the Notorious American Crusader also known as Gary Betman
Take note of the quotes around the word "improve".
10. Noted dive artists get to wear figure skates, and are rewarded with powerplays - based on judging of course. No Russian judges admitted for Red Wing games.
9. We take the glowing red puck to the ice, installing a sturdy flashing light inside the puck with beam holes, so that all the fans can follow. Players now allowed to wear sunglasses.
8. On Hallowe'en, players get to dress up in costume, with fake vampire teeth mouthguards and all. Multiple costumes adding to the confusion only makes it a win-win for the fans!
7. When a player is penalised, you now sit on the dunking chair, and fans can pay $9.99 ($12.99 in the U.S.) to get a chance at sinking the opposing team's player by throwing a beanbag at a target. 2 minutes gets you cold water; a five minute major gets you hot tar. Game ejections put you in the lion's den . . . literally!
6. To make the game more gentlemanly, when fighters square off for fisticuffs, the non-instigator has a choice of pistol, sword or fists. Every duel must be started by a gentle facewash and throwing down of the glove.
5. To combat goalie interference, the blue ice area is electrified, so that if a forward touches it, he receives a mild shock. Goalies wear special rubber skates and equipment. New penalty made on account of Tomas Holmstrom - 2 minutes for illegal wearing of a rubber.
4. For another inventive revenue generator, old sweaty equipment is squeezed in a press to get the sweat out. For only $9.99 you too can get a thimble-ful of Crosby's ball sweat!
3. In a feelgood gesture, and in order to spread democracy and garner more fans, Canadian teams play the whole preseason in Kabul, Afghanistan. Flak jackets and body armour optional. We're still working on the whole 'ice melting' situation . . .
2. Supplementing the last point, at the end of the year, the two worst American teams in the standings play in Baghdad, Iraq. The losers serve a tour of duty; the winners . . . have better odds of surviving.
And the number one way to improve our game:
1. Obama for Commissioner!
"Take off, eh?" - Bob and Doug |
|
|
|
Alex
PickupHockey All-Star
Canada
2816 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2008 : 04:08:39
|
Too bad more people didn't respond to that one... I guess I should post the better topics during a more busy season on the site, eh?
Here's one we can all relate to and is pretty timely as well
Top Ten Reasons to Watch the Finals this Year
10. Get set for some show-stopping goals from Crosby, Malkin, Hossa, Zetterberg, and Datsyuk who will make this one feel more like an all-star game than a cup final.
9. Brain beats brawn and talent has the upper hand on tactics in a series that will see good hockey played the way it is meant to be played as opposed to goons slowing down the game and worrying more about hitting than playing. Three cheers for puck possession!
8. Offense and youth vs. Defense and experience – inquiring minds want to know which side will prevail.
7. Youngest captain to hoist the cup or first Swede captain to hoist it? Here’s hoping Sid wins this little tête-à-tête.
6. Everyone is throwing out the big names, but will Johan Franzen silence them all with his scoring prowess?
5. Fantasy hockey. The four players who own the lead in NHL scoring are staples of this series… ‘nuf said.
4. Fleury and his nerves of glass or Osgood and his reputation at being a passenger on the Detroit bandwagon? One of them will throw the monkey off their back and on to the other tender’s.
3. Maybe one of the most heated Conn Smythe debates in a decade! Again, let’s hope Sid can redeem himself and salvage the injury-plagued season by nabbing the Smyth and Stanley in one shot.
2. Will this be the last time Malkin and Sid play together?? Say it ain’t so!
1. Detroit /Pittsburgh just beats the living daylights out of New Jersey / Anaheim, Calgary / Tampa, Ottawa / Anaheim and my personal favourite, Carolina / Edmonton.
EDIT: Who would have thought the Pistons would do so well against the Celtics? Imagine if the Wings and Pistons won in the same year! Real-Estate in Motown would triple -- every sports fan wants a good team to cheer for! |
Edited by - Alex on 05/28/2008 04:15:34 |
|
|
|
Axey
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
877 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2008 : 18:11:36
|
Wow ... it's been a long time... I haven't been active since the Habs were eliminated but my top 10 is ...
10. Quite possibly one of the most exciting finals in a while.
9. The near end of a dynasty vs. the beginning of one
8. Crosby-Malkin vs. Datsyuk-Zetterberg
7. Crosby brings the cup back to Pittsburg like the fans and critics said he would.
6. Franzen could steal the show
5. Osgood vs. Fleury - Mismatch? Or have we all been wrong about the underrated osgood
4. The Motor City vs. The Steel City
3. Original 6 vs. Second 6
2. I also like the Conn Smythe debate going from in goal to 4th liners to first liners.
1. Youth vs. Experience |
|
|
|
ThorntonisTHEMAN
PickupHockey Pro
499 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 07:16:42
|
Top 10 Reasons to Watch the Finals:
10: One word: Franzen
9: Watch Hal Gill get caught flat-footed as the entire Wings team dekes past the big pilon.
8: Young Stud vs. Old Fart
7: First Swede to captain a cup team
6: Gary Roberts could die any day now
5: Penguins might actually score a goal!
4: Crosby swore that if Malkin gets more points than him this series, he would challenge Malkin to a dual.
3: In an desperate measure to try and get people to watch the Stanley Cup finals, Gary Bettman promised all those who watch the game a free piece of pizza personally delivered by Bettman himself.
2: The Leafs aren't in the finals
1: Watch Sid the Kid cry when the Pens lose
I'm back, dudes!
"I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie."
Brett Hull. |
|
|
|
Gostarsgo12
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
437 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 07:31:15
|
| hey welcome back. The only important thing you missed was that my Stars knocked your Sharks and Big Joe out of the Playoffs hehehe. Good to have you back. |
|
|
|
ThorntonisTHEMAN
PickupHockey Pro
499 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 08:06:11
|
lol shaddup! that was disgraceful! although, if they would've won that 4 overtime game, they would've won the series, no problem! curses! they better win next year!
quote:
Originally posted by Gostarsgo12
hey welcome back. The only important thing you missed was that my Stars knocked your Sharks and Big Joe out of the Playoffs hehehe. Good to have you back.
"I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie."
Brett Hull. |
|
|
|
Alex
PickupHockey All-Star
Canada
2816 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 04:22:31
|
It's been a while, eh? I'm not going to update this as frequently only because I don't think we'll get such a great turnout for some of the better topics I have planned, but for now there's a good one which is only relavent during a certain period of time, so I might as well throw this one out:
Top 10 Conn Smythe Candidates
1) Henrik Zetterberg. Did everything
2) Chris Osgood. Never faltered
3) Sidney Crosby. Put his team on his back, most consistent of them all
4) Pavel Datsyuk. Lesser version of Zetterberg
5) Nicklas Lidstrom. How is this guy not higher on most people's list?
6) Evgeni Malkin. Unstoppable through three rounds.
7) Johan Franzen. Arguably the best if not for his injury.
8) Marc Andre Fleury. Solid, composed tender that makes the big saves when he had to. If they win the cup, Fleury will be much higher on this list and in my mind, deserves the trophy.
9) Sergei Gonchar. Veteran leadership and sound defensive play. He won't win it.
10) Brian Rafalski. Incredible player, but highly overshadowed. He won't win it.
-Alex |
|
|
|
Gostarsgo12
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
437 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 07:29:10
|
Datsyuk- Best All round player in the whole playoffs
Zetterberg- PP, even strength, and PK goals, this guy is amazing
Crosby- Without him offence wouold be lost
Osgood- Just really solid
Fleury- Saved them last night
Franzen- Goal Scoring Machine
Hossa- Has picked up play last couple games
Lidstrom- Quietly does job
Gonchar- Gets back on ice for the last PP and they finally score
Talbot- Gets team pumped, scored a huge goal.
Close Considerations- Hal Gill, Andres LIlja |
Edited by - Gostarsgo12 on 06/04/2008 07:29:48 |
|
|
|
SuperSakic
Rookie
Canada
192 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 08:24:35
|
Conn Smythe winners:
10. Hal Gill - just to stick it to the Leafs
9. Cleary - great work ethic, and has a solid beard
8. Rafalski - the little engine that tried
7. Hossa - the only penguin able to score on a consistent basis
6. Franzen - how can anyone not like a mule?
5. Osgood - very steady. If not for his antics, he's be higher.
4. Fleury - The ONLY reason the pens are still alive
3. Lidstrom - like a rock
2. Datsyuk - a lot of heart! If he just scored a few more goals, I'd put him number one.
1. Zetterberg - simply the best player of the playoffs
|
|
|
|
Alex
PickupHockey All-Star
Canada
2816 Posts |
Posted - 06/08/2008 : 09:35:05
|
Top 10 Available Coaches You'd Hire If You Had A Vacancy
1 Paul Maurice
2 John Tortarella
3 Jacques Martin
4 Mike Millbury
5 Ron Wilson
6 Joel Quenneville
7 Bob Hartley
8 Patrick Roy
9 Glen Hanlon
10 John Paddock
-Da King |
|
|
|
BradTheBadDad
Top Prospect
73 Posts |
Posted - 06/08/2008 : 09:55:50
|
Top 10 Coaches I'd Pick
Scotty Bowman
Pat Quinn
Jacques Martin
Mike Millbury
Paul Maurice
Patrick Roy
John Tortarella
Joel Quenneville
Ron Wilson
Glen Hanlon
''Eat. Sleep. Hockey'' |
|
|
|
Gostarsgo12
PickupHockey Pro
Canada
437 Posts |
Posted - 06/08/2008 : 10:06:28
|
Hartley
Tortarella
Wilson
Maurice
Quenville
Burns
Hanlon
Quinn
Hartsburg
Paddock
|
|
|
|
Topic |
|
David Letterman Top 10 Hockey Style 
